It’s all there in the title. I’m going to answer the Inside the Actor’s Studio questions. This is about to be horridly uninteresting…
1. What is your favorite word?
This question. Why this question? It’s like the favorite book question only with the added complication of changing minute by minute. For example, my friend said the word “aplomb” in casual conversation and my brain couldn’t help but declare a parade in the word’s honor. And then there’s my tab for favorite words, my 3 Word-A-Day apps on my phone, and my various volumes of obscure vocabulary, etc. Basically there is no one answer to this question…
2. What is your least favorite word?
Crazy. I know that might seem like a silly word to dislike, but it all has to do with having a mental disorder. Sure it’s fine to say “That’s crazy” about an event or using it as a replacement for when you mean radical or awesome. There’s nothing inherently insulting to me about that, but when you call me crazy, that is where I draw the line. I see it, you see it, the whole world sees it, don’t point it out with what essentially boils down to a slur. I’m also vehemently (<-Another favorite word) against the word fag.
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
The obvious, if not very healthy, answer to this is hypomania. It’s an ugly state of mood but there are a couple of raisins thrown in. It’s a double edged sword. Foregoing that, talking to people is a great font of inspiration for me. It’s why I like to have coffee with people, share meals, and play the question game. Other valid answers include reading, traveling, and basically anything that gets me in (literal or figurative) motion. If we’re going to talk turned on sexually… Actually, my parents read this blog and maybe the girl I like does too… So we’re not going into that.
4. What turns you off?
Bigotry, closed-mindedness, being cold, and being called “Jeffy”. Seriously never call me Jeffy. Long story short, a bunch of folks tormented me with that name esp. when The Ringer came out and now I can’t even hear the name without feeling some type of rage.
5. What is your favorite curse word?
It’s like you keep asking me to name a favorite child! Look back on my writing, I fucking love to swear up a goddamned shit-storm. I’m a fan of all the classics but I do dabble in the world of creative cursing, you quavering merdivore (Love my books of obscure words). There are a few curses I dislike, one three lettered F-word mentioned above and a four lettered C-word for example but I don’t let a few road bumps slow down my momentum. I get especially curse-y whenever I get about doing physical labor. Hefting things, attaching things to other things, cutting things, I punctuate all of these activities with quite a bit of swearing. So much so that it’s too the point where my close friends know that if I exclaim “Shit-Fuck” at the top of my lungs, nothing is particularly wrong, I just dropped something or wedged a thing in a place.
6. What sound or noise do you love?
Possibly my favorite sound on the planet is the sound of a windchime blowing in the breeze. I don’t know if it harkens back to the one we had on our back porch when I was younger or what, but the sound of a wind chime makes me think of home. The sensation is powerful enough to grind me to a halt and simply listen whenever I catch the fainest toll of one in the distance. I dream that one day I’ll own a home with a garden in back that is alive with the sound of chimes. Even in chaotic winds there is something about the sound that makes me slow to halt and exist in a moment.
7. What sound or noise do you hate?
I love cats but I hate their yowling. Can’t watch The Grudge, not because of the haunted little kids or anything, but because of that fucking cat.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Seeing as I’m not involved with a profession yet, I’m going to answer this question as though it said major. Yeah, still in college, studying to be all unemployed and such (English Creative Writing Major), but ifI had to pick a different course, I’d go with sociology. Sociology with either a minor or double major in psychology. Why? Because people are interesting. People are really fucking interesting and being part of those two branches of academia would mean nothing but studying them.
9. What profession would you not like to do?
I dislike math. I really dislike math. I’m not saying I’m not good at it or anything, but I do not like it, so any career that would involve math and money or the economy would not be for me. But Jeff, you just said you’d studt sociology and psychology and those are basically all statistics… What up with that?? Good point, Pigeon Platoon, good point. The difference being that money is money, it’s all little bits of paper and coins, while people are people, each one so full of complexity and chaos. Each and every tiney little one is just as complicated, or more so than I am (Sonder is a great word, despite being fictional). In the face of all that, I’d be perfectly fine doing math.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
I don’t really believe in Heaven. I believe in my own ideas on reincarnation, so I guess I hope the words said at the gates would be something along the lines of “You can’t slam a revolving door”. If ya’ll would like, I could expound on my ideas about reincarnation on here, but to truly do it justice I’m going to need some bourbon. I always preach better with a bit o’ bourbon.